


A fire I hold for you

by gay_hp_ships



Category: Bridgerton (TV)
Genre: Cousin Incest, Eventual Smut, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Eloise Bridgerton, Minor Character Death, Regency Era, Regency Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:48:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28957464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gay_hp_ships/pseuds/gay_hp_ships
Summary: A cousin of the Bridgeton's comes and lives with them as their ward after the death of her father, and Eloise finds herself doing something she had promised herself she would never do.
Relationships: Eloise Bridgerton/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

"Hello Anthony" Violet greeted Anthony with a smile as she walked in to her sons office, standing in the doorway, fiddling with the letter in her hand.   
"Mother" he said absentmindedly, dipping his quill into his inkwell, before scrawling something onto a piece of parchment, then moving it to the side, before picking up another document out of the many that were scattered on his desk. It was only when Violet sat down opposite of him and made it clear that she had matters of business to discuss that he point down his quill and focused on her whole-heartedly. "What can I do for you Mother?".   
"I have just heard that the Duke of Selhurst, your uncle and my brother in law died a few days ago of a mysterious illness" she said, placing the letter that had informed her of the event on the table in front of her, in case Anthony wanted to read it himself.   
He didn't seem to have much need though. "Yes I heard about it from the Earl of Helsourne, very unfortunate indeed, I was going to tell you but it slipped my mind, though apparently the funeral will be in a few days, I am more than happy to escort you up there to attend it if you wish".   
"No, he always thought celebrations over someone who could not be present were very silly, I imagine he would be quite hurt if he found out that there was one taking place, but I was actually more concerned about his daughter, your cousin, Lady Adelaide" she said, tilting her head ever so slightly.   
Anthony sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Surely the new Duke of Selhurst will take her under his wing, and if not, a suitable enough marriage and be rid of her as soon as possible" he said, looking at his mother with a quizzical look.   
"The new duke is an orphan boy who is two years of age, his estate and much of the Selhurst fortune will be controlled by his maternal grandfather, Lord Volecouper, and I am sure you need no reminder of his evils" Violet said, shuddering as word spread around the city of England that he had apparently taken advantage of a handful of girls, had not provided his own daughters with dowry's and had been known to repeatedly hit his wife and daughters, but alas, nothing could ever be proven, though most of the ton' knew. "Imagine what he would do with a young and grieving girl, who is only fifteen years of age under his roof and control".   
Anthony sighed, nodding his agreement. "Indeed, she shall not be left with that sorry excuse of a man, and I have access to more than enough funds to give her a good and proper lifestyle and dowry, we can take her in most certainly, but mother are you sure you wish to have another girl who is nearly of marriageable age, finding Eloise a husband will be hard enough, but a grief stricken girl might be an almost equal challenge".   
"I owe it to her father, he married my sister even though she was ruined, and didn't even accept her dowry, if not for his I do not know what would have happened to my sister, and my sister would never forgive me if I let her daughter go some place where she was not loved and cared for, and I believe we can provide her those things, and be a family for her" she said with a sad memory at the mention of her only sister.   
Anthony reached over and squeezed his mother's hand to let her know he was there for her. "I remember how upset you were when you found out, and only a month after giving birth to Eloise".   
"You have no idea how I wished it had been me instead who had died giving birth to her daughter for those first few months, my sister deserved to watch her little girl grow up, and even though her name was covered in scandal, she still deserved more than dying in childbirth, she had so many dreams and aspirations, my only comfort is that she managed to achieve her most desired one, to become a mother, you know, it was me and her who came up with the idea to name our children in alphabetical order when we were children, it was quite honorable of the Duke to follow through and name her Adelaide when he thought the entire thing was ridiculous" Violet said, with a genuine smile as she remembered her sister.   
"I shall send off a letter immediately to Lady Adelaide and Lord Volcouper, and ask for her to arrive here on Wednesday, so that Daphne can meet her when we all have dinner together" Anthony said with a firm nod. "As for you mother, it is quite late, please go and get come rest".   
Violet giggled but nodded, standing up and heading out of son's office.   
-  
It was Saturday when he received word back from both parties giving their permission. Adelaide's hand writing was neat and sharp. He letter expressed her thanks to the family, and how glad she was that she was to go to live with close relatives. It also stated that she would be able to pay for a few of her financial needs, to help take the burden away from them, but Anthony instantly wrote back and said that she needn't worry, and he would be more than happy to cover her expenses. Lord Volecouper expressed some sadness about losing a young girl for himself, now that his daughters were married off and his wife was dead, but agreed to the arrangement.   
So he decided that on the next Sunday morning, when the entire family was gathered in the drawing room before the church service, including Daphne and Simon, would be the best time to announce the news.   
He cleared his throat, gathering the attention of everyone in the room, silence descending on the family as they waited for the head of the house to speak. "As most of you will know by now our Uncle, the duke of Selhurst recently passed away from an illness, and I have decided to take in his daughter as a ward, I am sure most of us remember how hard it was to lose papa, and even then we still had each other and mama, this poor girl has nothing left except us, so I would appreciate it if we could all make her feel welcome and cared for" he said before letting the room descend back into loud chatter.   
The two youngest Bridgeton's got up from where they were on the floor playing some game and immediately went to him, bursting with questions. "Anthony what is her name" Gregory asked.   
"Lady Adelaide" he replied to his youngest brother before turning to Hyacinth, who was practically bouncing by her brothers side.   
"Where is she to sleep?, surely she will not have to share a room with one of us" Hyacinth asked.   
"Since Eloise moved into Daphne's old room, she can have Eloise's old room" Violet replied, before turning to Eloise, who was trying to practice her pianoforte, though the noises that were coming out of the instrument were not pleasant to listen to.   
"Do we have to address her as lady Adelaide, or can we just call her Adelaide, or does she have a nickname we should call her" Gregory asked, tugging on his brother's hand.  
"You shall call her Lady Adelaide, until she gives you permission to call her anything else, now, may I please go sit with the older gentlemen" Anthony said before waving the two children away.   
"It must be so hard for her, losing the only family you have ever known, I don't know what I would do if I lost my family" Francesca said, Daphne nodding her agreement from where the two of the sat on the settee next to the piano, and Eloise took a moment to indulge her sisters, anything to get away from playing the piano under the keen eye of her mother.   
"Indeed, though sometimes I wouldn't mind it if a few of my siblings disappeared" Eloise said with a slight giggle as she watched Hyacinth throw pieces of the game they were playing at Gregory.   
"That is only because they are young that they behave so, as they do" Violet said, not being able to find a word to describe their antics. "You and Colin were far worse, I swear when you were younger you only lived for the torment of each other".   
"Do you know how old she is mama?" Eloise asked, suddenly having a question of her own.   
"Only fifteen like you, though you are a month older, nearly to the date" she said with a slight smile before pointing back to the piano. "Now come along, I want you to make some progress before we go to church".   
"But mama it is useless" Eloise said with a pout. "I shan't be able to play the pianoforte, and I simply can't learn".   
"You just have to put effort in Eloise and find interest in it" came Daphne's sweet voice paired with something almost like a chuckle.   
"That's easy for someone who is naturally talented at it to say" Eloise said in retort.   
"The carriages are here, come along" Colin said as he noticed them out the window, the entire family standing and moving towards the front door of the house.   
-  
"Now everyone, remember to be nice, and don't broach the subject of her Father yet" Violet said as she got her family gathered outside the house, the girls carriage meant to be arriving in only a few moments.   
"Mama, Eloise is staring at me" Hyacinth complained.   
"That is only because out of all of us you are the most like to do something dumb, such as bringing up the very thing Mother warns you not to" Eloise said, scrunching up her face at her younger sister.   
"Now, sisters" Anthony said in a firm tone. "We want to make our guest feel cared for and as though we are a happy family, so I suggest the bickering ends here" he said as he walked past the group and stood out in front with his mother.   
It was just in time too as an unmarked carriage pulled up in front of the house, one of the footmen opening the door before helping the young lady out of the carriage.   
She had wonderous green eyes that instantly caught the attention of Eloise, watching in silent admiration as they scan her surroundings. Her skin was shockingly pale, though somehow not pale enough to make people think the was sick. She had bright pink lips and a small button nose, all of which, for some reason caused butterflies in Eloise's stomach. She had not been overly excited for the new arrival, but somehow seeing her here, now, piqued her interest.   
She wore a dress and bonnet of all black, a clear sign of mourning over her loss, and underneath her bonnet streaks of black hair could be seen.   
She curtseyed to the family in greeting. "Lord Bridgeton, Lady Bridgeton, thank you so very much for taking me into you home" she said in a sincere tone.   
"Of course, you are most welcome" Anthony said with a firm nod before stepping aside, about to introduce the arrival to his siblings, but his mother stepped forward, cradling her face in a loving way, her face somehow conveying sadness but joy at the same time.   
The girl tilted her head into the hold, this being the first time she had been touched like that, like a mother's touch. "Is it true?" she whispered, a silent question their mother somehow understood.   
And she replied with a firm nod. "It is like looking at her face, every inch of her, all over again" Violet said, before bringing the young girl into her embrace.   
When they finally separated Anthony cleared his throat, achieving his goal in getting both women's attention back on him. "If I may, this is Eloise, she is the same age as you" he said, and waited for Eloise to acknowledge the girl, but she was staring at her instead completely besotted. "Eloise" Anthony said more firmly, this time his voice bringing her back to reality.   
"Good day lady Adelaide" she said, nodding her head.   
"Please call me Adelaide" she said with a smile, focusing on the sky blue color of her eyes, the both of them managing to completely block out the world for a few moments, till Anthony's voice brought them back to reality.   
"This is Benedict and Colin" he said, and Adelaide forced herself to move away from Eloise.   
Benedict took her gloved hand and with a smile kissed, Adelaide also smiling all the while, curtseying as well, so much so that Eloise felt a pang that she never had before, and she didn't quite know what it meant.   
Colin and her performed the same ritual as benedict and her, and Eloise was left to wonder how even in repetition this new girl was of such a fascination to her.   
Next was Francesca, and then Gregory, who made a large show of being over extravagant, so much that Adelaide giggled slight at his performance, before curtseying to him and returning the extravagance, making the youngest son suddenly feel important, and then Hyacinth.   
"Mama and my sisters will show you to your new room, and I look forward to seeing you at dinner, where you'll meet Daphne, the only eligible Bridgeton to be taken off the market" he said with a short laugh and Adelaide smiled in response.   
"I look forward to it, and thank you again, Your Lord, this truly means so much to me" she said with a grateful smile and a courteous nod.   
"Please, call me Anthony, and of course, you are welcome in our home for however long it takes you to find a husband" he said with a firm nod, before the group went inside, the footmen beginning to take Adelaide's trunks out of the carriage  
The brother broke off from the group and went to do whatever it was that young men did in their spare time and the women began to lead Adelaide up the stairs and to her room.   
Adelaide had to stop half way up though due to near heat exhaustion, panting as she gripped onto the railing.   
"Adelaide, whatever is the matter?" Violet inquired when she noticed that her new ward had fallen behind the rest of the group, turning back to face her.   
"Oh, I'm just warm, up in Scotland it never quite got as warm as it is down here, so all my dresses are fur lined Lady Bridgeton" She said with a sigh before she began her ascent up the stairs again.   
"Please call me Violet" the older woman said, tenderly placing her hand on Adelaide's back. "And if that is the case then we must get you some new dresses as soon as possible, after all there are still nearly two months left of Summer, but for tonight I'm sure you can borrow one of Eloise's dresses" she said, turning to her second eldest daughter.   
Eloise quickly nodded. "Of course, one you are done settling down in your room you can come to mine and pick out a dress" she said with a bright smile, the idea of this girl in her room making Eloise strangely happy.   
"Here is your room" Violet said opening up the door to Eloise's old bedroom and stepping inside, followed by the rest of the girls. The room was moderately large, smaller than her room back in Scotland, but still reasonably sized. There where three windows on two of the walls, both of them with large enough stills that you could sit on them and read, and all of them overlooking one angle or another of the garden.  
Her bed was a four-poster bed, with plain white sheets and blankets with blue patterns on them. there was a vanity and writing desk pressed under two of the windows as well as a trunk disguised as a cushioned place for her to sit. There was a passageway to another room, most likely a dressing room.   
"What do you think?" Hyacinth asked, almost giddy with excitement.   
Adelaide smiled and nodded. "I quite like it, I think I will find my time in here most enjoyable" she said with a thankful nod to Violet.   
"Come on girls, let's leave Adelaide, to unpack her things, the footmen will be bringing them up shortly, as well as some maid's to help you" Violet said as she shooed her children from the room.   
"Thank you, for all of this again, La- Violet" she said correcting herself, lowering her head slightly.   
Violet simply smiled back in that motherly way she did before closing the door.   
Eloise scampered back to her room and tried to focus on her newest book, but her mind was plagued with images of Adelaide floating through her mind, and she felt an incessive need to be near her.   
She eventually gave up trying to read, putting her bookmark in before tucking it away. She stood up and quickly glanced in the mirror to check her reflection. Even though she had never worried about such materialistic things she wanted to make a good impression for Adelaide. She then walked across the landing, and knocked on the door of Adelaide's new room.   
The reply was almost instant welcoming her in. She pushed open the door and smiled as she watched three or so maids folding nightdresses and other things, and putting them in different places.   
As for Adelaide, she was looking through some papers, but her bonnet was gone, showing off her dark hair, which was pinned back tightly in a low bun, and as well as that her dress was gone, likely because it was to hot for her, leaving her in just a petticoat, her stays and shift. Eloise stared at the girl as she absentmindedly did whatever she was doing, Eloise using this time to look more closely at her. It was true that she was very pale, but if you looked closely enough you could see the slight freckles on her face, and her lips were soft, though slightly cracked, and they were agape as she focused. And her eyes were the color of summer grass, with darker streaks shooting though.   
"Eloise" she said with a smile, nodding her head to the girl. "What can I do for you?".  
It was at this moment Eloise realized she needed a reason for barging in on her like this, and she instantly went to the first thing she could think of. "I was just wondering what happened between you and my mother earlier?, if I am allowed to ask"   
Adelaide nodded, before putting down the papers on her bedside table, before inviting Eloise to sit on the fake cushioned seat. "Everyone says I look like a mirror image of my Mother, though the villagers barely saw her, and I think my father's image of her is- was a bit idealized, so I figured that your mother would know the truth" she said with a sigh.   
"Do you have a portrait of her?" Eloise asked.   
"Unfortunately only a sketch" Adelaide said, going to one of her trunks and leaning into it, giving Eloise as much of a view of her backside as she was going to get. "Her it is" Adelaide said, straightening and walking over to her.   
It was done in messy charcoal, and any finer details were lost. But the things that could be seen were almost identical. The structure of the face, the shape of the lips and eyes, and even the way their hair fell.   
"Your mother was very pretty if this sketch is anything to go off" Eloise said with a smile, giving it back to Adelaide who placed it in a drawer of her vanity.   
"Thank you, everyone says she was" Adelaide said with a smile. "Are you sure you are alright with me borrowing a dress for tonight?"   
Eloise eagerly nodded. "Yes quite, if you wish to put on a dressing gown you come over to my room now and pick one out".   
Adelaide nodded and went and fetched her dressing gown, wrapping the silk around her body and then tightening at the waist.   
The two of them walked across the landing and into Eloise's room, before quickly going into the dressing room.   
Eloise got a little bit excited at the idea that Adelaide was in her bedroom, one of the most private places she could be, and who knew what she would stumble upon in her wardrobe.   
Apparently a good dress, Eloise thought as she pulled out a purple dress with gold embroidery at the waist and sleeves.   
"Do you mind if I wear this one?" She asked as she held it up in front of her before keenly turning back to Eloise.  
The young woman nodded, to besotted by the created image of Adelaide in the dress.   
"Thank you so much for this, I will see you at dinner then" Adelaide said with a smile.  
"Yes, most certainly" Eloise said, regaining some sense of reality. "And really you have quite good taste


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adelaide's first dinner with the family does not go quite to plan

Adelaide took a deep breath, steadying herself as she walked down the staircase, her grip tight on the railing.   
She felt far to overdressed, the purple of her dress such a striking color against her pail skin, with matching satin gloves. She wore a simple diamond necklace, a piece from her own collection, and her hair was done up into a tight bun, with a couple of short ringlets left out to frame her face. She had never wore something quite like it, her father always insisted on having an informal table, so her hair done loosely and a simple dress always sufficed, but she could not deny that the over indulgence of the London fashion was quite tempting for her.   
She was guided to the drawing room by a footman, who she nodded to gratefully, taking a moment to stand in the doorway and absorb the family. The men were over in one corner, including a new man with short hair and dark skin. The Duke of Hastings, she thought to herself, and then looked to the women. Violet and Francesca where on either side of the Duchess, talking to her happily in gentle tones.   
Eloise sat by herself in the corner, happily reading a book, her legs folded underneath her, Adelaide could see her shoes poking out from underneath. Her mouth was slightly agape as she read, consumed by the the novel. Adelaide leant against the doorframe, taking in the other girls simplistic beauty, most notably her sky blue eyes, which moved across the page, and widened occasionally.   
"Adelaide?" Violet said in greeting when she noticed the new accompaniment of her family in the door way, forcing Adelaide to tear her eyes away from Eloise as the family's focus turned from their personal discussions to her.   
Violet stood up and wrapped her arm around her shoulder, in a motherly embrace that was unfamiliar to her, but she still found it comforting, before leading her into the room. "This is Daphne, the Duchess of Hastings" Violet gestured at her oldest daughter as she stood up, the Duke walking over to join his wife. "And her husband the Duke" she said, smiling at her son in law.   
Adelaide curtseyed as her governess had told her to in the few days they had prepared for her to join society.   
"There is no need for that" Daphne said, her voice warm and gentle, though on the cusp of being a chuckle. "We are family after all, and I do not expect any of my family to treat me with such formalities".   
Adelaide gave a firm nod, though she kept her eyes lowered out of respect to their position.   
"I was so sorry to hear about the passing of your father" the Duke said, lowering his head in respect for her loss. "He was a good man, and always kind to his tenants, though I am glad to see you again" he said with a slight smile.   
"Oh" Violet said, slightly taken aback that there was something she did not know. "I was unaware that you two had previously met"  
"I would hardly call it a meeting" Adelaide said, with a slight chuckle. "His Grace simply spent a few nights at our castle in Scotland as he was passing through, I spent most of my time in my private quarters".   
"Yes I only got to see her once, a dinner that her Father insisted she attend, though I think she was there rather begrudgingly" he said with a smile. "Though she played the pianoforte very well".   
"Well with a recommendation of a Duke how could we not want to here you play" Violet smiled at Adelaide, before gently guiding her to to the piano, and Adelaide felt her stomach do flips. She only ever had an audience of two people, and most of the times it was less. She couldn't take all the eyes on her, and she didn't want to disappoint anyone's expectations of her.  
"It will unfortunately have to wait till after dinner" Anthony said, as the footman next to him straightened after informing him that dinner was ready to be served before looking at Adelaide gently, "though I am looking forward to hearing you play, so we shall all gather in the music room and then we may split off".   
Adelaide nodded to him as he led the family out of the drawing room and up the stairs, towards the dining room. However both Eloise and her trailed behind, taking their time until the family was a few strides in front of them.   
"I would not worry to much about your performance" Eloise said, her hands behind her back as she leaned in close and spoke in a low tone, her breath gently hitting the bare skin of Adelaide's chest. "They have heard me play, and mother says I sound as though a dying cat when I do so, so they shall find yours a respite, no matter how terrible it is" she said with a chuckle.   
"I would not underestimate me, when I first started to play my governess often said I sounded like a frog" she said with a laugh, knowing she had outgrown that faze, and when she was confident she could play the pianoforte rather well.   
"A dying cat is far worse then a frog" Eloise said with a giggle. "And that was when you first started, mother still tells me about my lack of ability to this day, in fact she even mentioned not being allowed to play in front of you in fear that it would scare you off".  
"I could help you practice if you want, I have been told I play rather prettily?" Adelaide said as she watched the rest of the family disappear through a door, and slowed her own pace even more, trying to make Eloise's and her time alone last as long as possible.   
Eloise nodded slowly, not wanting to skip out on the opportunity of spending more time with Adelaide, but also not wanting to give her hope that she could teach her something that her governess, sister and mother could not. "I would love to, but I give you fair warning, you will most likely not be able to teach me much".   
"Well then it is decided" Adelaide said, a note of excitement in her voice that Eloise had not heard at all in the day. "If you want we may begin tomorrow, early if possible, if it suits you".   
"Very well" Eloise said with a firm nod. "Thank you, I fear I will need as much help as offered".   
"Would you two please hurry along, we are waiting on you" Hyacinth said, poking her head out of the door.   
The girls picked up the pace and entered the dining room, the rest of the family already seated. Anthony was at the head of the table, and opposite him was him mother, and to closest to her on either side where the last two empty seat, meaning the two of the girls would sit across from each other.   
"Thank you for finally joining us" Violet said in a mock tone of disappointment, though her grin gave away her true intentions.   
"Sorry mother, but you will be glad to hear I have found myself a pianoforte tutor, Adelaide volunteered to try and teach me" Eloise said as she and Adelaide sat down, smiling at each other before turning their attention to the matriarch of the family.   
"You will have your work cut out for you then" Violet giggled as she took as sip of the champagne that had been poured for dinner. "I have tried so very hard,and used every trick I could think of, and I have yet been able to teach her, and I taught all of her siblings".   
"Well Eloise picked a fine teacher in my opinion" Simon said from further up the table.   
The footmen brought out the first of the food and lent down beside the two heads of the family, allowing them to pick off the tray first, and continued around the table till everyone had something on their plate.   
"Daphne, what is the matter?" Hyacinth asked, noticing how pale and clammy her sister had gone from the mere smell of the food.   
"Nothing sister, everything is perfectly fine" she said, though her words did nothing to change her appearance, which clearly gave away that everything was clearly not perfectly fine.   
"Daphne, are you ill?" Anthony asked, putting down his knife and fork as he leant towards his sister, who had moved her hand up to cover her mouth in a polite manner.   
"Shall we step outside dear" Simon asked, already standing up and walking towards her. She gave a short nod and he helped her up.   
"Hasting's what is the matter" Anthony said, standing up and following behind the couple, concern for his sister evident, and he was shortly followed, the entire family standing up and filing out of the room, Adelaide not know whether this was the kind of private matter between a family she should not include herself in or if it would seem disrespectful if she retreated to her room.   
She stopped a maid that was passing by though to give some space between her and the family, so they could make the decision themselves and asked to have a tray sent up to her room, doubting the family would return to the dining room.   
By the time she had caught up to the family they had gathered out side the washroom, only Violet, Simon and Daphne inside, Violet stepping out a few moments after her arrival.   
"Simon has asked us to gather in the library" she said and they all walked towards the room at a slow pace.   
They all gathered in the room and had gotten comfortable, the men being given glasses of port and the women wine or water. Adelaide had personally chosen water, and had most of the women, though the men of the family had of course taken the alcoholic choice.   
Soon after the Duke and Duchess entered the room, Simon's hand on Daphne's back gently guiding her towards a chair. Daphne herself looked slightly better, though still rather unnaturally pale. Simon quickly summoned a glass of water and gave it to his wife, who took small sips before placing it on a wooden bench close to her.   
"There is no point in hiding it anymore" Daphne said after a moment, and even though Adelaide barely knew her or had any reason to care she found her own heart speeding up in anticipation for the Duchess's news. "I am with child".   
The family had gone into shock, all of them with blank expressions, the couple looking slightly anxious for their reactions.   
"Congratulations" Adelaide said, leaning close to give them something while the rest of the family processed the news. "You must be so excited, the both of you".   
The rest of the family seemed to have come around, Violet first as she squealed something about being a grandmother before crowding around her daughter, pulling her into a hug, telling her how glad she was.   
Anthony was next. His first reaction was to of course be happy for the couple, before a look of realization then anger crossing his face, before seemingly reminding himself that the pair was married. He stood up along with along with Francesca who was smiling happily, and shook Simon's hand, offering him his congratulations.   
The rest of the family followed suit, all except Eloise, who still remand on the settee quite close to her, a glossy look in her eyes, as though she had not quite processed the new information, though her stuttered breath suggested she did.   
Adelaide stood up and moved towards her, sitting down gently next to her, wrapping her arms around her, pulling her in slightly in an attempt to be comforting. "What is the matter Eloise?" she asked gently, trying her best not to bring attention away from the happy couple.   
She took a moment to come to her senses and turn to Adelaide, a look that screamed she was about to sob on her face, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes and her mouth ever so slightly open. "A great many women die in childbirth, it is one of the biggest threats to fully grown women, and I don't know what I would do if Daphne was to die such an awful way" she said her head snapping to look at her sister, who was absorbing her family's good wishes and talking about the future baby Hastings. "You yourself must understand my fear, that is how you lost your mother".   
"Indeed, I made a promise to myself when I was old enough to understand what had happened to her that I would never have children, as I did not want to die, or leave my child without a mother, and even though my father was excellent it was very hard growing up without her" she said, taking Eloise's gloved hands in her own, looking at her, her eyes gentle. "But you must remember, that even though a great many women die in childbirth, a much larger number live" she said and smiled when Eloise nodded, swallowing harshly but still nodding.   
"You are right, I have just been known to worry far to much" she said, standing up and helping Adelaide up with her. "We should go and offer our congratulations to the couple" she said, Adelaide nodding her agreement.   
-  
It was late at night when she finally gave up on the idea of falling asleep, the heat of the summer keeping her awake. She had chucked off all of her blankets and still wasn't cool enough to fall into sleep.   
At some point she got up out of bed and decided to go down and take a stroll in the secluded gardens, not bothering putting on her cloak, knowing it would just way her down.   
She made her way out of her room and down the stairs, guided only by the moonlight and stumbled to find a door leading to the garden, but she soon found it and walked into the cool night air.   
She walked around the garden until she came upon an old wooden swing set, probably meant for the children during the day, but it would suit her for a place to sit down before she went back inside.   
She had only been sitting for a few moments before she heard a familiar voice say her name gently.   
Her head snapped to the direction she heard it come from, scared she had been caught out of bed wearing nothing but her nightgown, but let out a breath when she realized it was only Eloise, with a grin on her face.   
"What are you doing out here at this hour" Eloise said as she sat down next to the girl, bringing her legs up to rest on the plank of wood that was the seat of the swing.   
"I couldn't sleep" she said honestly, leaning back on the rope so she could kind of face the other woman. "Though I might ask the same question as you, after all, you are meant to be accustomed to the heat of this place" Adelaide said with a slight chuckle.   
Eloise had of course come out for a late night smoke, but had thrown her cigars into a bush for her to retrieve later when she had saw another figure, scared of getting caught by someone who was not Benedict. "I couldn't sleep either, to much to think of I suppose".   
"You aren't still worried about Daphne are you" she said, her name slipping from her lips before she could think of the proper formalities, and looked to see if the other girl would take offense, but smiled slightly when she saw she did not seem to care.  
"Only a little, a reasonable amount" she said with a sigh. "I've had time to process things and try and understand them logically, and it makes no sense for me to worry for the next seven month's and I should think instead of the much more likely scenario that she shall live".   
Adelaide nodding her head, glad to see she had recovered from the initial fear that had gripped her. "Then what is keeping you up".  
"I'm not entirely sure, to be completely honest" she said with a slight giggle as she shook her head at the slight silliness of her not being able to fall asleep. "Just a lot of things to think about, a lot of firsts and lasts on the horizon I suppose".   
"Are you talking about your first season?" she asked, already getting the feeling that Eloise was not looking forward to the thing she had been prepared for her entire life.   
Eloise nodded, closing her as she thought about it again. "I suppose I have always known that I want to be a spinster, as terrible as it may seem to the other ladies of the ton', but for me it has always made sense, but I would hate to ruin my mothers dream of having all her children off in happy marriages, or disappoint Anthony in his hope of having me married off".   
Adelaide nodded, understanding her worries, and her own thoughts about marriage had come to the surface since her father's death. She had never thought that she would not marry, but it always seemed so far away, and she knew that if she wanted she could stay unmarried, her Father was more than happy to support her, so long as she was happy, but now she didn't really have that choice, she would either get married or make her own way in the world, she did not expect the Bridgerton's to support her if she did decide not to marry, even if they wanted to. "At some point, no matter how hard it is you must make the choice and put yourself first above other's hopes for you, they may grow to accept whatever choice you make, but if you are unhappy you will never be content" she said after a few moments of thought.   
"I'm sorry that Daphne ruined you're debut dinner with my family" Eloise said, feeling the sudden need to change the subject before she blurted out the reason she did not want to marry. Even though she felt as though she had a natural connection with Adelaide, she did not think she could trust her with such a big secret as hers. Not yet.   
Adelaide only chuckled, shaking her own head. "Don't be, I was quite glad for the interruption, I felt as though I was under far to much pressure, having all eyes on someone else was good" she said before standing up, stretching her arms above her head. "I had better be off to bed, it is rather late and I would hate to look tired tomorrow when I face you Mother and brother" she said, turning to look at the other girl who nodded and smiled at her.   
"Thank you for keeping me company out here" she said, before looking out again. "Good night Adelaide".  
"Good night Eloise" Adelaide said, before making her way back indoors.


End file.
